back blue

Well, I don't know what happend. I don't know what I have done, or what I haven't. But certainly some things went wrong.
We have holidays now. There are eight free days. So I hoped to maybe become closer aquinted with all the people I learnd to know recently.
But none of my classmates ever knocks on my door. No one asks me to eat dinner or lunch with them. And even a very nice girl who is very similar with me, never send an sms.
And yesterday I found out, that they had a party the other evening. But they never tought about inviting me... I'm really wondering why....
That hurts! Of course I would have probably preferd to stay in my room, for I don't like partys but... well it would have been my own decision. And I would have felt welcome and friendly.
No they seemed to be a kind of group and I don't seem to belong anymore to them.
I really don't know what has happend.
I always told them, how much I like company and that I really like theirs.
And I stood and talked with them, when ever I met them.... until now.
Now I feel so embarassed and akward. I can't speak with them anymore, for I feel so ailien and my selfconfidence sinks to old levels. I'm searching for excuses. For them and for me. I search for mistakes I could have made... but I can't find any.
And it's getting worse and worse, as long as I'm thinking about it.