Who cares if my heart breaks?

Well, I don't think you can keep up with this blog anyway... I have no readers... to whom am I writing anyway?

But it doesn't matter. I just want to get rid of some things again.

The guy who picked my eyelash has a girlfriend. It is ok. We are like brother and sister now.
But he will go back to his country soon.
He told me, that, if he had no girlfriend, he would conquer me. So I know that he loves me.
So I was right... I always felt like a piece of chocolate on my desk... when I was trying to resist it.
He certainly trys to risist me.
I don't even want to think of loving him. He is so perfect, I couldn'd bear the thought, to love him and let him go.
But, I want to spend every second with him, now he is still here.
Just... pieces of choclat have no light live... he's avoiding me again.
And he tell's me to be happy and smile the day he goes.
He says it would break his heart, to see us crying.
I don't want to break his heart... I'll do everything I can to be happy, everything I can to not break his heart.
Even.... even if it breaks mine.
My heart is longing for love, my body is longing for an embrace. I feel so lonly. I want somebody who cheers me. I want him to cheer me... him to be with me and listen to me... but I can't I have to resist. I'll do everything that his heart does not break... who cares if mine does?

It's not the first time... it wont be the last... I'll be strong... and I'll smile